Six Weird Signs You’re In Ketosis
Ketosis can be a courtship between who you are and who you want to be. Like any good romance it comes with a certain amount of angst and self-doubt. At the start anyway. Will she? Won’t she? Will he? Won’t he? You’re not quite sure if you’re really getting to the next level where all the glorious rewards await. Feeling your best is always the goal but how do you know if you’re doing the right things. Well, these are the common signs that you’re in ketosis, because weight loss can often be unreliable measure, kind of like when you send your new bae a text and you don’t hear anything back. Don’t worry about the obvious stuff, like bad breath and keto flu, you know those are rock solid indicators. These are the subtle signs you need to look for that could be ghosting your attention.
Feeling Dull As Dish Water
Is there a diet that doesn’t make you feel about as limp as 10-day old lettuce? Probably not. Food intake gets more controlled and limited, but ketosis makes you switch energy systems which takes some time. Like changing the oil on your car, except your engine will splutter a little. The worst you feel the better you’re doing. Life is brutal.
Your Stomach Plays With Pebbles
It can be embarrassing when these moments happen within earshot of people you don’t know all that well. Fortunately, these freshly cut beats aren’t a gaseous exchange. Instead, they’re dull rumblings that tell the world, and yourself in case you weren’t paying attention, that you want food. It’s perfectly natural. It’s also because your digestion is adapting, sometime this comes with some unusual bowel activity, but most of the time, it’s just your guts ringing the dinner bell.
Pillows Act Like Pre-Workout To Your Brain
Your body may be in a catatonic state, but your thoughts are practicing an Olympic medal winning gymnastics routine. Keto can make you have shorter stages of REM sleep, so a single night can feel like Alaska in wintertime. It will pass, and if it keeps up then be happy that it’s one step closer to Christmas.
Fiercely Disobedient Hamstrings
Cramps are manageable when they happen during a workout. You expect it. Shrug it off. You can deal with that minor annoyance. Sadly, they tend to lack general etiquette and show up in your hamstrings and calves at 2:31am, sharp. At first, they feel like a tap from your other half then they morph into a pain that leaves you pulling a face like a bucket of smashed crabs. Just think of them as your bodies thank you for being ketosis. Don’t let them keep you up at night.
Everyone Seems Stupid
For the first week, you felt you wore the dunce hat. Now that you’ve pushed through that initial stage, it might seem like you’ve got to constantly squint to understand everyone’s else’s lack of cognition. You don’t have to understand their specific level of stupid, but you can just admire their commitment to it. A sense of intellectual superiority is a sure sign you’re ketosis and a douche. You pick.
An Urge To Go Tech Shopping
Are you in ketosis? You’re not sure. You need to know by what degree. Bad breath alone won’t tell you. Tech will. You can get a blood test. Ouch. You can get a urine test. Mmm. You can get a breath test. Huh, not bad. Bad breath actually is a metric after all. A little breathing into a monitor may not be the most accurate (blood tests are) but they’re a convenient way to check your levels on the daily.
Keep an eye out for these signs that may fly under your radar. It’s not all about weight loss. Instead, your body is adapting and change for the better when you go into ketosis. Embrace it and take note that these signs aren’t reasons to visit your doctor. It’s just a harbinger of the good stuff kicking in.